In the blink of an eye...

It seems like just yesterday there was snow on the ground...and I don't know why, but today for the first time as I was looking outside...I started noticing just how green the trees were getting, and how green the grass was...I think it just took me by surprise because I am a fairly observant person...and either the trees changed overnight...or I am seriously slacking off.

You put me here for a reason
You have a mission for me
You knew my name and You called it
Long before I learned to breathe

Sometimes I feel disappointed
By the way I spend my time
How can I further Your kingdom
When I'm so wrapped up in mine

In a Blink of an eye that is when
I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye

And though I'm living a good life
Can my life be something great?
I have to answer the question
Before it's too late

If I give the very best of me
That becomes my legacy
So tell me what am I waiting for?
What am I waiting for?

In a Blink of an eye that is when
I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye

The lyrics above are from a song by MercyMe called "In the Blink of an Eye." I've heard it probably 20 times at least...but I never really knew the words...especially the ones in the second verse. They do such a good job of summing up how I feel lately - Sometimes I feel disappointed,
By the way I spend my time, How can I further Your kingdom, When I'm so wrapped up in mine - I feel like I've been wasting everyone's time lately...and my own. I feel like I haven't been fair to the kids I minister to - because I haven't been putting my heart into what I'm doing. My attitude toward what I've been doing has been so selfish...I get frustrated thinking the thing I do is going to fail because I won't have enough kids at it, and then I don't plan for it well enough, and then I get frustrated at myself...it's this vicious cycle..and I need to get myself out of it.

So...what does all of that mean then? I'm not sure. #1) I can't wait until summer is here. However, my summer is crazy busy too...so I'm not sure how many of my goals and random projects I will get done. Oy. #2) I really need to look at how I am spending my time...and remember that working at a church doesn't count for keeping my own faith life in check. #3) I need to search out people that I can learn from and grow from...some that are around here.

Just another day...