Borning Cry...

"I was there to hear your borning cry, I'll be there when you are old.
I rejoiced the day you were baptized, to see your life unfold.
I was there when you were but a child, with a faith to suit you well;
In a blaze of light you wandered off, to find where demons dwell."

"When you heard the wonder of the Word, I was there to cheer you on;
You were raised to praise the living Lord, to whom you now belong.
If you find someone to share your time, and you join your hearts as one,
I'll be there to make your verses rhyme, from dusk 'till rising sun."

In the middle ages of your life, not too old, no longer young,
I'll be there to guide you through the night, complete what I've begun.
When the evening gently closes in, and you shut your weary eyes,
I'll be there as I have always been, with just one more surprise."

"I was there to hear your borning cry, I'll be there when you are old.
I rejoiced the day you were baptized,to see your life unfold."

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I woke up with this song in my head this morning, though I can't find a reason as to why. I haven't heard it recently - I guess I could have dreamt it...if I did, I don't remember.

Then, I decided to open up my devotion book...for the first time in months. This is what I found...

Praying to Die Well

Many people say, "I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of dying." This is quite understandable, since dying often means illness, pain, dependency, and loneliness.

The fear of dying is nothing to be ashamed of. It is the most human of all human fears. Jesus himself entered into that fear. In his anguish "sweat fell to the groudn like great drops of blood" (Luke 22:44). How must we deal with our fear of dying? Like Jesus we mus pray that we may receive special strength to make the great passage to new life. Then we can trust that God will send us an angel to comfort us, as he sent an angel to Jesus.

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What am I supposed to think? Ever since the last time I visited Russ at the hospital, I haven't been able to get him and what he said out of my mind...about his writing the piece for the Lenten journal... and the fact that I've now tried to visit him twice since, and he's been sleeping. I don't know what I'm supposed to think...or do...

Into your hands we commend our spirits... Amen.

Mark 12:34 - "When Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, 'You are not far from the kingdom of God.' After that no one dared to ask him any question."

"I've got it!" The lightbulb truly came on for the scribe that appears in this story - after all, to be told by Jesus that you are not far from the kingdom of God - can you even imagine? It seems like it was often a rarity for someone to grasp Jesus' teachings...or at least to grasp them to this extent.

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Luke 12:34 - "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Wow...

Come to the water...

So, I decided a couple days ago that I really need to work on my personal faith life more than I have been. Working in a church can be a challenge in that respect - it is easy to feel like you're getting your fill of faith when you're inside the walls of a church the bulk of your day - but sometimes I think it's the opposite - we spend so much time "doing" church that we forget to experience it.

Now, for a tangent - I was over at a friend's house the other day and told them a random fact about me - for the last, oh, at least six years, I have a habit of seeing the numbers 1234 together...whether it's the time on a clock, a score on a scoreboard, a price, those stickers that come on clocks before you buy them with a pre printed time, getting phone calls and e-mails at that time...etc. For instance, I was buying some books online today, and this particular site offers a discount on certain books when you buy others - and one of the books was available for the lovely price of $12.34. So I bought it...figuring maybe there's a reason I noticed that.

...so, to return to my point...I decided one way of adding a little more Bible study in a fun way back to my daily routine, I'd start at the beginning of the Bible and look up a few 12:34 verses each day - turns out Genesis doesn't have one, but Exodus does, so that's where I'm starting.

I'll post some thoughts here each day when I do them along with other random thoughts that might be going through my head. Enjoy.

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Exodus 12:34 - "So the people took their dough before it was leavened, with their kneading bowls wrapped up in their cloaks on their shoulders."

- This verse appears immediately following Pharaoh's command for the Israelites to leave Egypt, after the plague of the firstborn has occurred. Everyone seems to be in a bit of a frenzy here...the Egyptians because many of them have just lost their firstborn children, the Israelites because suddenly they were free from the Egyptians - after 430 years of bondage. The Israelites left quickly - so quickly, in fact, that they had to take their dough before it had risen - they literally picked up and left.

I can't imagine what must have been going through the Israelite's heads...disbelief, amazement, gratefulness, confusion. Not only were they finally free of their oppressors, but they were also allowed to plunder the Egyptians before they left, taking gold and silver and other trinkets.

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1 Chronicles 12:34 - "Of Naphtali, a thousand commanders, with who there were thirty-seven thousand armed with shield and spear."

Part of David's army, who came to Hebron to help turn the kingdom of Saul over to him. Not sure what to make of this one yet...

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Ezra 12:34 - "Judah, Benjamin, Shemaiah, and Jeremiah,"

Folks who were at the dedication of the city wall in Jerusalem. Again, more on this later.

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Matthew 12:34 - "You brood of vipers! How can you speak good things, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."

The abundance of the heart. This one might need some more thought - the first direction my mind went is an interesting one - what fills our hearts and causes them to have the abundance of one thing or another?

I wonder about kids sometimes these days, and how difficult their lives seem to be. I can think of a handful in my own youth group that are consistently "exceedingly boisterous" - and give those who lead them in things like confirmation a run for their money. However, get one of them alone for a few minutes, away from influences and others to impress...and suddenly you see another side of them...someone who can carry on a conversation, someone who simply wants to be heard...or better yet, listened to.

What is filling them at home? I don't know most of their families, at least not well. I don't know them well enough to know what they are being filled with, or what they are allowing themselves to be filled with (the two are very different - some parents try again and again to break through the tough shells of some kids, and just haven't found the right tool to do so) - very different from a parent who is distant, a parent who is absent, or a parent who is there...but may be abusive, or simply unable to offer the care and love that is needed for one reason or another.

"Out of the abundance of your heart the mouth speaks..." - Jesus was speaking to the Pharisees here - speaking to them in a parable about a tree being known by its fruit - clearly a bad tree cannot produce good fruit, it will produce bad fruit. He continues to tell them that one day they will have to account for all that they have done - that they will either be condemned or justified by their words.

We know that by grace we are saved from our own shortcomings...but can a person whose heart is full of evil, of pain, of anger, or of hopelessness fully understand that grace? If our heart's abundance is one of these things, can we feel God's grace?

I ask this question because I think hearts that understand and are full of the Grace of God are the ones that speak love and good deeds - after all, how can someone who has seen death and come back from it not know the glory that life holds? We have been rescued from our own condemnation, and lived to tell the tale!! We want to tell about it! We want to share it! We want others to understand...

...more later...I need more time to process....

Kallie's thoughts

hi jennyfer

Sermon and other musings...

April 6, 2008

On the road to Emmaus...Luke 24:13-35

We had hoped - fragility
We did have hope, but...
De's have been De-feated.

Unknown Date - Nicodemus

I don't think it's a coincidence that I ended up here - at a place called Grace. I don't think too many places I could have ended up after Olivet...the mountain top experience...could have fit me as well as this place did....as it does...

Take that heart home with you and do something with it.

Unknown Date - The Greatest Seeker of All

Seek Ye first - during lent - with Alleluia - hehehe...

How do you live in and live out your baptism?
Not repaired, but made new -
We are new vessels

Unknown Date - Healing Sunday

If we know who holds the final hour, we don't need to be anxious about the next moment.
There is a balm in Gilead, to heal the sin sick soul

Unknown date -

Not think less of yourself, think of yourself less.
Inviting others in - what this world needs

Cafe story - soup that tasted like communion bread and wine -
ELW 641

Unknown Date - Pastor Steve

Gospel - Matthew 3:13-17 - Jesus Baptized by John
Such An Outh of the Ordinary Man

Children's sermon - Graduation - you work really hard at something , and if you get most of it right, you get to go on

At graduation, you put this hat on, and put the tassel like this, then you get handed the piece of paper and move the tassel - does she look smarter now?

No, not really -

Lunch on the Word - May 6 2008

John 7:37-39

Let anyone who is thirsty come to me, and let the one who believes in me drink - Out of the believer's heart shall flow rivers of living water" - parallels between this and the verses were Jesus says, I am in the Father and the father is in me - we are able to lift others up with living water

Accepting something mentally -

Servant's entrance - out into the real world
Naming and claming the Holy Spirit - which come's first?

If We are the Body - Stained Glass Masquerade

Where are we being led?

"mission" oriented

What strikes you?

Where the Heart Remains...

Good Friday.

It's such a ridiculous name...how can anything good come from the horrific death of an innocent man?

But that's just it...it did. Our salvation, our lives, our freedom. Grace poured down from the heavens like rain, like the drops of blood that ran down the forehead of the man who gave more than even He could have given.

***Author's note:

I was going back through my blog today, just looking at some of the stuff I had written over the past couple years, and also taking a peek at drafts I had started and not finished. Odd that I would find this one...one year later on Good Friday...

Let the little children come to me...

I'm a bad mother.

And I don't even have any kids...unless you count the scaly yellow and black spotted one...well, I call her my baby.

She's a leopard gecko.

And I failed up until a few days ago to buy her food...for about the last three weeks.

Now, before you go calling PETA on me, she wasn't starving to death. She's a chunky little thing...and in all honesty, should probably be hibernating right now.

I wish she could talk...then I would have been more willing...guilted...but still...to hurry up and provide for her. Or even if she could make a sound at all...if she could whine...or cry...

It's easy to ignore something when it doesn't make a sound.

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I thought about this...my coworker was giving me grief about the same thing (my lizard lives in my office, you see) - and he said, 'I hope you're not a mother anytime soon' - to which I replied, 'yeah, but at least they make noise when they're hungry...'

There's a deeper meaning in all of this...it really is easy to ignore things when they don't make a sound...people in need, for instance. Silenced by pride, fear, or even a simple lack of someone to turn to. It's easy for us to ignore the person sitting next to us in the cubicle - in the seat behind us at the soccer game, in the pew next to us at church when we don't know what they need...or that they even have a need.

It's a little harder to ignore when we are asked to help. We feel guilty - or at least we should - when we know there is a need that should be filled...and we have the means to fill it and don't. Oh sure, we're good at turning our guilt off...but, it's still there. Mostly.

So, whose fault is it, then? It's 'their' fault, of course - why don't they just speak up and ask? Maybe, just maybe, the question should be, why aren't we listening more closely, paying more attention? Why don't we take time to look, to search, to offer...

We know how difficult it is to ask for help...

How hard it is to offer help...

How simple it is to overlook...

How much we need to offer...

Coming Back...

Dr. House: "She has God inside her - it would have been easier if she'd had a tumor."



Dr. Wilson: "Maybe she's allergic to God..."



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Sister Augustine: "Celebrate and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again..."



Dr. Chase: "The prodigal son..."



Sister Augustine: "He'll be waiting for you, when you're ready..."



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Tucked in a corner...

Short story - take it for what you will.

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I turn my head, crane my neck, strain to hear the faintest music I've ever heard. Someone has to be playing it - oh - maybe it's just the church bells down the street.

It's ironic - if it's the church bells, that is. I was there last week...I'm not sure why. It had been a while, and I remembered why it had been that long. No one notices when you never come. Well, until you come back, anyway. I had wandered through the doors the day before I came to the church service - had found them open and walked into the sanctuary. Light was streaming through the windows, but it was empty. Totally devoid of life - and something in that image reverberated so deeply through my own body that I felt I had to return the next day. Any attachment I had ever felt to that building and its people had disappeared years ago. But I still came back...

People don't care when you leave - I don't think they ever really saw anything in me anyhow. Just some less than well dressed throwback. They all tried so hard - well, some of them did - to hide the stares that burned into the back of my head. I saw.

But no one ever asks questions. They just assume. No one cares about history - life stories - failed attempts at love - failed attempts at life. I wasn't always like this - but life really doesn't care about the before, about the once was, about the used to be. Only people do.

I came back, stood, watched people smiling around me. It's just as well - the only story people ever want to hear is their own. I wish I could hear mine - it's been a while. Instead, it remains trapped inside my head - the only place it's ever known - the one place I wish it would leave. I sit here at my desk - yeah, I do have one.

But you wouldn't know that. It's not part of your story. The church bells are gone now - or whatever music it was. Maybe I was imagining it. Or maybe I just really wanted to have heard it...

Author unknown...

Not a normal post...but there is something haunting about it that I just can't shake...


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I don’t know what’s left.

I can’t tell what’s going through his head. “The leader meeting was the only impassioned thing I did yesterday!” he said after not being able to recall the other meetings, the worship…

“You can’t look at one day and write the rest off as worthless.”

I was in a room with him, the kids were there, and there were beds off to one side. The room looked something like our gym at camp. The youngest boy was there with his dad…I’d been asleep and had woken up. I spent part of the night listening to Father “teaching” son how to put things into the computer, but really, he was talking to himself. He was talking out loud to himself, I think to convince his mind, and his heart, that the decisions he was making were real…and were right. I’d woken up and had walked past the room they were sitting in – his wife was across the hall.

I know things aren’t right – but I also don’t know what I can do. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him speak his mind in front of his colleagues.

Damn you, Mr. Ed.

Oh yeah – then there were the rats…tons of them in cages like we were in one of the animal barns at the fair. There were chickens too – and a little palomino horse that was trying her damndest to get away. The janitor sat there watching. Knowing that what was going on wasn’t the way it should have been, but refusing to help any more than was necessary to keep chaos from setting in. The mother of the girl with the horse got up when the little mare started to panic and the janitor turned with an “I told you so” smirk of sorts on his face – but there was sadness there too. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen those two emotions together before. Is that what guarded contempt means?

And there was a storm. We were at a camp again – part of the youth there were my canoe kids, and three other younger kids – the pastors kids - were there too. I remember having each of their hands…edged up against the wall as the wind howled – when we’d looked out minutes before, there were at least three tornadoes headed straight for us. We sat and the wind got louder, the ground shook – I told the kids to put their hoods up, and I honestly thought that I was going to die. We were alright though – even after two rounds of it. I think I remember watching some of the walls in front of us fall.

And then, a roll of thunder pierced the silence of the cloudy morning, and I rolled over in bed. It was 8:11.

I will not make the same mistake that you did…

What have we become...

The week begins. You walk into the bathroom only to find that the bottle of shampoo that was full two days before is almost empty, not to mention lying in the bottom of the shower. You know who did it, go find them and yell at them, and they don't care. Then, you go tell your parents - who roll their eyes and shrug it off...making you even more incensed. Clearly, they don't care about your plight...and like your good for nothing brother more than you.



Now, all of this would be fine if the siblings in question were ten and twelve. But when they're both in their mid twenties...well...that's another story altogether. What is the parent supposed to think when their 24 year old daughter comes to them whining that their older brother (they both still live at home) stole something of theirs? I know parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally, but there comes a time when you really just have to let them "fight their own battles." The parents see the potential (however well masked) in both of their children, but what did they do wrong that they haven't yet succeeded in raising a self sufficient child?

Our Hearts and Prayers Go Out...

So, I am sure there are hundreds of other people that decided to post a blog entry about the collapse of the I-35W bridge. It is a tragedy of unbelievable proportions. As I sat watching the news last night and keeping up with the constant updates on various websites, I couldn't help but be transported back to 9/11 and watching the events unfold on the TV. While this tragedy wasn't as big and didn't affect as many people, news of it still traveled across the country at magnificent speed, and it still shocked thousands. The 50 cars that now sit in the Mississippi serve as reminders of those who managed to survive the collapse, and also serve as reminders of those that are still missing.

It is an amazing thing to hear the stories of those that wasted no time in rushing to the aid of those around them. The internet and news are flooded with stories of modern day heroes that pulled victims up on the banks, sat with those waiting for help, and risking their lives to get others out of harm's way. It is also amazing to hear the stories of those who had close calls - who had driven over the bridge moments before its collapse, or those who just happened to choose alternate routes or who had car troubles that may have seemed troublesome at the time, but meant that they were kept just far back enough that they missed that fateful moment. I think it is also a miracle in and of itself that the bridge was under construction at all - the tragedy could have claimed twice as many victims if the entire bridge had been open.

However, many did not. Many were affected, injured, and even killed as the bridge fell 64 feet to the river. Some families are still waiting to find loved ones - and with no way of knowing how many cars were on the bridge or who was in them, it is a wild goose chase as hours pass and the search slowly changes from one for survivors to one for the bodies of the victims still trapped under the wreckage.

So, as the president prepares to come to Minneapolis, as the mayors and senators speak words in an attempt to console those affected and to move forward despite the recent events, and as the community, state, and country try to wrap their minds around what has happened, I can't help but feel that this is another reminder of those tragic hours we spent watching the twin towers collapse. It may not have been an act of terrorism, but it doesn't take someone trying to hurt others for awful things to happen. We pull together and look for ways to support our neighbors. We pray, and we hope that we can come to accept and understand that we live in a world where evil exists, yet still believe that hope and renewal are present for us as well.

So our hearts do go out to those affected by this tragedy - may our prayers and kind thoughts encircle those who are in pain, and support those who risked their lives to help. God bless them.

For Granted...

I am so blessed.

I grew up in a home where there was always food on the table.
I have eaten too much (many, many times).
I have been angry at my parents (because they kept me from doing things that would hurt me).
I had pets growing up.
I got to go to school.
I was forced to do my homework.
I had lots of toys (but didn't get everything I wanted).
I went to church almost every Sunday.
I went to college.
I sometimes buy things I don't need.
I always have just enough money leftover for the things I do need.
I have a cell phone.
I can call my parents whenever I want.
I have a bed.
I have a microwave.
I have a car.
I can change my clothes five times before I decide what I'm going to wear.
I can look in my fridge and decide nothing looks good, then order a pizza.
I can drive down the road and pick up a gallon of milk.
I have too many blankets.
My parents still make me call sometimes to tell them I made it home alright.
I've been overseas.
I've traveled to 18 different states.
I had to to homework until 2am some nights while I was in college.
I can run.
My friends are only a phone call away.
I get to teach kids about God.
I can go to church on Sunday morning.
I've thrown away food.
I've eaten an apple that I picked off a tree.
I've seen a moose in the wild.
I have seen more beautiful sunsets than I can remember.
I have drank water that came from a gorgeous lake in the boundary waters.
I had to pay $106 for a doctor visit.
My computer had to get fixed a month after I bought it.
I have five lakes within walking distance that I can swim in.
I woke up this morning.
I can flip through the channels on my TV and not find anything to watch.
I have air conditioning in my car, my office, and my apartment.
I have a car, an office, and an apartment.




Hey all. If you happen to read this post and make it this far, I would like to request that you post a comment and add your own list. It should be things that you are able to/have to/get to do that may seem insignificant, but are little reminders of just how lucky and fortunate you are. God Bless - pass it on.

Afterthoughts...

So, I'm home now, I've been home for three full days, I've been back to church, and more or less back to normal (although I still haven't had a full day back at work - soon). It was strange how long it seemed to take to reacclimate myself to normal life this time - I have done my fair share of wilderness and camping trips, although this one could perhaps win the prize for most rustic for the longest amount of time. Is it having lived a very simple life with so few people for a full week, or is it having been gone the bulk of the month of July on vacation and trips? I'm still not really sure about that one.

Life at home seems more or less on a regular track...I have spent most of the last three days holed up in my apartment though...partly out of laziness, partly out of wanting to read (and finish...YAY!) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I think I spent 5 hours today finishing it...give or take...at least 4 hours. Now I wait for others to finish so I can actually talk about it to them. Bah.

Tomorrow (well, today I suppose as it is 12:30am) is my first full day back to work...should be a quiet week. I will be tying up loose ends from the canoe trip, answering e-mails, and getting reorganized so I can start thinking about the upcoming school year a bit more. I head off - again - the end of this week for a couple days, as there are kids at Good Earth Village Camp this week, and I want to make an appearance there. Then I think the last big thing I should have for the summer is a personal trip to the Twin Cities for a weekend for a music festival with some friends.

I have a sermon to get ready for this weekend, which I am excited for despite the fact that I really haven't put a ton of thought into it up to this point. I know that the text is on the Lord's Prayer, and also contains the ask-seek-knock passage that is so familiar (and is one of my favorites). I'm excited to start reading through the commentaries, as I already have some vague ideas in my head about where I want to go with it, again, strange, as I haven't read the text in close to a month. So we'll see.

As far as thoughts on the trip now that my brain has had time to process...I think I have to call it largely a success. Wilderness trips are not without their struggles and difficulties, and I think we handled ourselves pretty well. Talk about the trip seems positive, and I think the kids came back with the feeling that each of them did things they wouldn't have considered themselves capable of doing. In my book, that's positive. I think very few trips occur where there is no drama, so all in all...yeah. It was good.

Build me up, Buttercup.

Readjusting - part 3

Tuesday - This is where I stopped keeping a regular journal, so this is mostly going to be from memory. The girls were getting tired, and over the course of the day, it was pretty evident that we needed some time for the girls to just unwind and relax. It was our second longest paddle, from Spice to Ogish, to Jasper, to Alpine, and to the west edge of Seagull, where we would be spending the bulk of our time. We got to camp relatively early, so we had lots of time to cool down and chill. We swam for a while, and then had mandatory nap/quiet time, and then did some solo time. Our campsite was amazing - the one corner of it was a big rock, and the GL was a good quarter mile from the main campsite. We had our quiet time, and got to think about what it means to listen for God's call, what joys come from it, and what struggles come from it. Here is what I wrote: (I think I'm better at writing than speaking.)

Listening for God is more than sitting in a room by yourself waiting for Him to come to you. Instead, it is a willingness to open yourself up to the possibility that God is present where we are. It means changing our perspectives and accepting the reality that we are already instruments of God - able and ready to do His work.

Listening to God means accepting responsibility when we feel ourselves being directed toward a need that must be filled. It means being willing to step outside our comfort zone and realize that we must fill the need whether we have the gifts to fill it or not.

Joy in the calling comes when we find ourselves strengthened to the point where we are able to fulfill our calling. God makes us capable of rising to the challenge if we only believe we can.It is easy to become overwhelmed when we look at the tasks set before us. However, what can be even more frightening is realizing we are able, or even willing, to rise to the challenge of a need that we know we cannot fill alone. Yet we still feel an undeniable need to do so. We are frightened by what we might discover, and come to realize that we have not been living to our full potential.

Look at the ripples that your foot creates when you step into a great body of water. Only then can you begin to understand the extent to which God is able to use you. Your actions will reach far beyond what you would imagine possible.

Finishing reading to the group was a lot of stares and "wow's", I guess I kinda thought that might happen, but I really felt called to say it, even though I wasn't looking for praise. I spent my solo time away from everyone else, down the shore farther on a rock away from the group.

One of my favorite metaphors was one Laura made - the picture of silence as a pregnant woman, then something beautiful is birthed of it. Bonhoeffer had a lot to say about silence too, and often mentioned that some of the most beautiful and profound sayings came out of silence.

The evening was a glorious but tense one - bipolar, if you will. Supper, or part of supper was not received well by the group - Mac n cheese, fry bread (a different kind), carrots, and cheesecake. Everyone ate the mac and cheese, but the fry bread was rejected, as was the cheesecake. That led to a lot of argument and frustration on the part of the girls and the leaders, and our lactose intolerant and milk allergic leaders ended up eating most of the things that had milk in them. Yikes. We headed that night after bringing our supper with us up to watch the sun set, responded to by one of the girls by saying, "what, it's just a bunch of clouds and sun..." It really was gorgeous though. We finally finished out the evening, and began the journey to what would be probably the most difficult day of the trip.

Wednesday - Rock climbing day. We began the morning on the wrong foot...a lot of arguments and complaints about the breakfast for the day...malt o meal. No one wanted to eat it, which frustrated the leaders yet again, and the girls...what a way to start the day. After many arguments and eventually packing out two cups of the stuff, we were on our way. We cruised over to find a campsite, and after unsuccessfully checking some of them, we ended up back at the first one we stopped at, and then packed our day bag for rock climbing. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves there, and were challenged and pleased with their success. We got back to camp, washed off a bit, and then the leaders headed off for water. It looked like rain, so our job was to set up camp and get things taken care of.

This was the testing night. I was left with the group of girls to set up camp, and one of our number didn't like that idea. So, after an interesting talk and some exchanged words, we went on in silence. It took the better part of an hour, but we eventually got things squared away, and the girls got the night off...acting like nothing had happened. Laura and Maren and I opted to make supper ourselves so as not to create more drama, and it was a WONDERFUL night. I got a chance to bond with the leaders and laugh some, and so did the girls. We spent a long time staring at a 5 legged grasshopper, a dragonfly nymph skeleton, and the water. Sunset that evening was amazing, and we spent the better part of an hour on a rock talking before the mosquitos took over. It was a good end to the evening, and we went to bed with the knowledge that it could be a very early morning - watching sunrise at the Palisades...which meant getting up and packing up camp at 4am. Ew.

Thursday - the final day. We ended up not getting up that early, it was pretty cold and looked cloudy. We got up around 5 and packed up camp, and then headed back for our last paddle. Back at camp around 7:45, we unloaded packs and canoes, cleaned them, and after a few more quarrels, finished our work. We scrubbed canoes, liners, and packs, put lifejackets and paddles away, and then took our gear up to the brigades. We packed some, took showers, and did debriefing, then went to the camp store. After many long goodbyes, lots of pictures, lots of laughs, and a surprise candy bar present :) , we loaded up and departed...a bittersweet end to the trip.

We stopped in Grand Marais for a pizza lunch at Sven and Ole's, and then headed for the journey home. It was pretty uneventful, and we were all happy to be on our way back to our homes and beds. Everyone seemed to have had a wonderful week despite the polarity of reactions and comments that came out of it, and comments of "I rock climbed FOR REAL this week" and "I learned how to portage a canoe!" and "I saw six moose!" were heard throughout the SUV.

It was a wonderful, stressful, beautiful, tiring, growing, unbelievable week.

And I even made it home without being tired. (Then I crashed...and probably slept more in two days than I did all week.) :)

Readjusting - part two

Sunday - Day one out on the trail. We woke up bright and early for breakfast on our own that morning (cold cereal, rolls, and apples), and got ready to head off. We brought our packs down, put our extra stuff in the brigades, and got fitted with life jackets and paddles. We headed down to the beach for some paddling exercises, and then learned how to portage the canoes together (the group was really good at this!). After learning a bit about the Boundary Waters themselves, we loaded up, got our paddling buddies, and took off. Oh yeah! I almost forgot - another had joined our number - Maren. She was volunteering for a few weeks, and because we had a smaller group, she came along with us. After a slow start as we learned how to stern and bow the boats, we cruised on to our first campsite, one of the longest paddles we would have on the trip. The route for the day consisted of heading across Seagull, the biggest of the lakes we would be in (and the one that camp is located on), then on to Alpine, Jasper (where we stopped for lunch), Kingfisher (the puddle jumper!), and Ogish, where we stayed the first night. Tensions were high that first day as the girls tried their hand at paddling and portaging for the first time, our first ratings for the trip (one at a three out of 10), and some tears and frustration at the other members of the group. I think most of that was just simply an adjustment to the difficulties of canoeing after a couple days of very laid back camp life. (On a side note - I, who had never before solo portaged a canoe before, did it FOUR times that day! The guides couldn't believe I'd never done it before...go me!!)

We survived though, and made it to our campsite, where we set up and then enjoyed the water for a while. One of our girls decided to try the lifejacket diaper style, which entertained all of us for a long time - between her looking like a flower or some strange bug, and watching her try and get out of the lifejacket while she was still in the water, we spent a long time laughing and snorting until our bellies hurt.

Evening meal was chicken and dumplings, probably the most successful out of the week's meals, and the one where we worked most as a group. Chicken mess, buiscuit like fry bread, and brownies for dessert. We ate like queens and cleaned our plates. We cleaned up, had a bit of a rainshower, and did Last Word sitting together on a rock in the water, ending the evening in silence. A couple crabby girls, some challenges to the authority, and a night of cramps for me, and we made it to morning.

Monday - A gorgeous morning. I sat on a rock by shore for a while and watched minnows eating water bugs, listened to loons calling, and peered up at a cloudless blue sky. It was another adventure, of course.

It was an easy paddle on Tuesday, as we didn't have very far to go. We got up, packed up camp, and made breakfast of pancakes and applesauce. It was a bit of a tense morning, but nothing we couldn't handle. We got back on Ogish and headed to Spice Lake, just a teeny lake off the north shore of Ogish. We set up camp, which was easily one of the more exciting parts of the day - as we were setting up our tents, Laura came over and started making wild motions at us to be quiet and follow her - our setting up had startled a mother and two baby moose into the water, and we watched them swim across the lake. Soooo cool. We also saw two of the biggest spiders I've ever seen on a log along shore, and a frog, and some strange tube creature...not sure what that one was. Then, almost immediately after packing a day bag, and headed for Eddy Falls in two canoes, 4 people each. The route for the day was Spice, Ogish, Annie, Jenny, and across part of Eddy Lake - the falls was between South Arm Knife lake and Eddy. We ate lunch by the falls, and then hopped into the water, cold, but very refreshing. We played for a long time in the pools, splashing, showering, walking around, and snapping pics. Everyone was at an 8 or better - some even at 10's.

We headed back and did a silent paddle and two silent portages, where I learned how to do a two person lift without talking. We headed for Ogish and met some fishermen on the way to the "Jesus Rock" - a rock that just broke the surface of the water right in the middle of the lake. When Laura asked them where they were from, they said southern MN, crazy. But, where in southern MN? FAIRMONT. Weird. A Franzen, and a Makala or something like that - what are the odds!?! We talked to them for a while, they took our picture, and we headed back to camp. We picked tent groups and put on dry clothes and then started supper. Only a couple outbursts from one of the girls this time, otherwise, a fairly calm evening. Supper was stroganoff, hashbrowns, and no bake cookies. We rounded out the night with back rubs and did Hot Seat. then, off to bed.

Alright, in an effort not to have this post be all you can see on my page, I'm going to break this up again, and start with Tuesday on the next post.

Readjusting...

Two days after returning from the boundary waters, and it still feels strange to be back in civilization. I can't remember feeling like this the last time I took a trip of this sort, perhaps because it was too long ago, or perhaps because this is one of the longest stints I've done in one shot of very rustic camping. I am beginning to understand Laura's comments about it being hard to remember to flush toilets (neither the camp, and defininitely not the campsites, have flush toilets, they're all latrines and GL's (government latrines - wall-less latrines). And I can't imagine doing that for a summer, I noticed a culture shock after one week. It makes me want to experience that way of life for longer - there is something powerful about realizing how little one can actually live on.

Now some more background - I just spent the last seven days in the boundary waters northwest of Grand Marais, MN, with a small group of girls on an adventure trip. We left last Friday and returned on Thursday - it's going to feel weird to go back to work tomorrow and again on Tuesday. I'm going to do my best to tell the story of the trip here, and recap each day as well as I can remember it.

Friday - I woke up at 3:50 am, my goal being to get ready, grab my last minute things, and pick up one of the girls on the way to the church to meet the rest of the crew. I left my apartment at 4:27am, picked her up, and was at the church a little after 4:30. The girls showed up one by one, and after hugs, well wishes, and a prayer, (we had packed the trailer the night before - an act of pure genious) we actually made it out of town by 5am...my goal. We watched the sun rise over I-90, and stopped in Albert Lea (our first bathroom break of many). One of the girls found a moth that entertained us for a bit, and then we embarked on 4 hours up I-35. We made it past the cities, stopped for gas and grabbed some breakfast in Wyoming, MN, and headed for Duluth. It only took us 5 hours to get there - and then we were off to Grand Marais, about another hour and a half. We stopped in Grand Marais for lunch at Subway (where I learned to back up the trailer), and then took a little time to call parents to let them know we'd made it that far, mostly because cell phone coverage was uncertain the rest of the way up, took a step into Lake Superior (captured on my digital camera), and then phoned the camp to let them know we were on our way. We took off up the Gunflint Trail, and a roadside potty stop, three moose, and an hour and 20 minutes later, we arrived at the camp as rain started to fall. We met Laura, our guide, and loaded our gear on a pontoon and ourselves into a Northland canoe, and paddled to the main camp. We gathered ourselves and our gear and headed up to our cabin - Beavertail. After claiming bunks, we headed off to Pinecliff, where we played Apples to Apples until supper, had a delicious pasta meal, and then went back to the cabin. We had Last Word that night in the form of a Bluegrass version of the Holden Evening Prayer service...bleah. A cool concept, but not well executed...the leaders didn't know the whole thing well, and none of us knew it at all. We headed back to the cabin, and chatted a little about the next morning, then heard a story about Agate the Moose, and went to bed (or at least tried...the girls weren't tired because they'd slept on the way...I, on the other hand, was exhausted after being up for close to 20 hours).

Saturday - Next morning was First Word bright and early at 7am...then breakfast, then orientation. First was Health orientation, then Nature orientation, then Swim and Swamp - where we learned how to get a flipped canoe righted and brought back to shore. We dried off and headed to lunch, ate, and then helped with dishes. We were about to start our work day (finally), but then it started to rain, so we helped out in the kitchen for a bit instead. The rain subsided after a while, so we headed up to one of the former buiding sites to clean and pick up the rubble, and after about an hour at that, it started pouring. We ran to one of the staff cabins and sat on the floor, where we ended up laughing so hard we were crying after telling stories of the previous night's excitement - one of the girls talking/walking in her sleep and looking for plug-ins that she and her sister couldn't find - and asking Laura for help. Eventually, the sun came out again, and we finished up in time to head to supper, with hopes of a dip in the lake afterwards to wash off the layers of soot and dirt that we had accumulated. Our plans changed a bit after learning we were going to do the Bluegrass worship again, so rather than a dip, we headed down to the dock to wash off faces and legs and arms instead. Then it was back to the cabin to pack, and sleep to be ready for the next morning.

Installment one...more to follow tomorrow.

Nothing Special...

I jot notes down a lot as I listen to sermons on Sunday morning. Here are a few of my scribblings:

Discipleship - it sometimes means no place to hang up your hat, or even no hat to hang - in fact, you may end up hanging on a cross as [Jesus] is about to do...

Don't hide behind other people's expectations if you commit to following Jesus.

When's the last time you asked someone how their faith is today?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

If we know who holds the final hour, we don't need to be anxious about the next moment.

You are the light of the world...and of your church...

Church Lighting

Several centuries ago in a mountain village in Europe, a wealthy nobleman wondered what legacy he should leave to his townspeople. He made a good decision. He decided to build them a church. No one was permitted to see the plans or the inside of the church until it was finished. At its grand opening, the people gathered and marveled at the beauty of the new church. Everything had been thought of and included.

It was a masterpiece. But then someone said, "Wait a minute! Where are the lamps? It is really quite dark in here. How will the church be lighted?" The nobleman pointed to some brackets in the walls, and then he gave each family a lamp, which they were to bring with them each time they came to worship. "Each time you are here' " the nobleman said, "the place where you are seated will be lighted. Each time you are not here, that place will be dark. This is to remind you that whenever you fail to come to church, some part of God's house will be dark."

That's a poignant story, isn't it? And it makes a very significant point about the importance of our commitment and loyalty to the church. The poet Edward Everett Hale put it like this:

I am only one,
but still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something I can do.

What if every member of your church supported the church just as you do? What kind of church would you have? What if every single member served the church, attended the church, loved the church, shared the church, and gave to the church exactly as you do? What kind of church would you be?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I get something every once in a while through my e-mail called 'sermonfodder' that I believe is put together by a pastor and sent out once a week or so. Usually there is a funny story or set of quotes and then a more serious story, and this just happened to be on the last one I received.

I read through it a couple of times and found it very profound, not simply because of the image it presents, but because of how convicting it is. I am a very firm believer that a person does not truly get all they can out of their church life until they actively participate in the ministry that goes on there. That doesn't mean that they have to spend all of their free time volunteering, but simply that they take an active role in something that they have gifts in and contribute to those that they share with in the church family.

However, I also found it convicting for another reason. "What if every member of your church supported the church just as you do? What kind of church would you have? What if every single member served the church, attended the church, loved the church, shared the church, and gave to the church exactly as you do? What kind of church would you be? " This last part said almost more to me than the entire rest of the story. Though I am not a pastor, I am still a church ministry leader and play an active role in the life of the church. A couple of Sundays ago, my pastor preached a sermon and made a comment towards the end that referenced keeping people accountable for their faith. He added that sometimes it is hardest for him in that respect, because as a pastor, most people don't question his faith life on a regular basis. That really hit home for me, primarily because I have found myself so wrapped up in "doing church" that I ignore my own personal faith. That's not to say that I shut everything out, but simply that I don't take the time I should to look at and understand how the things I am seeing, doing, and hearing are impacting my own spiritual growth.

Here is a call to everyone, churched or not, leader or not - to take time for yourself. But don't stop there. Through finding ourselves, we then find out how that "self" fits in to the world around us. Take time to kindle your fire, and then add your ember into the great and glorious fire with those around you.

The week in review - back to the homeland.

As I typed the title of this blog I chuckled to myself - I guess back to the homeland refers both to my heading to Fargo for the 4th and to my current perch in a Caribou coffee shop on the way back home. I spent the last days driving all over central and northern MN and ND, and oh what a glorious journey it was. The trip began with a trek to Sibley State park near New London, MN - the second annual summer camping trip with my friend and I. We camped from July 1-4th, and it was a bit soggy for most of the trip. That didn't stop us, however, from finding plenty to do and enjoying ourselves a great deal. Fishing, biking, cooking hobo dinners, spying on turkeys, getting the heck scared out of us by whatever woodland creatures were lurking in the trees surrounding our campsite - a well rounded trip. The rainy days were spent poking around Spicer, playing cards at the top of Mt. Tom, watching movies, and taking a peek at Green Lake Bible Camp, where we enjoyed tremendously the lillies planted outside the offices.



Another highlight of our camping trip trip (or mine at least...) was finding (and catching!) a skink (little somewhat snakelike lizard, for those of you who were wondering...) on a walk at a nature center we stopped at. It managed to do a pretty good job of frightening my friend, who is afraid of snakes and thought that's what she had seen, after which I went looking for said snakes and found the two reptile friends. After seriously considering the possibility of a new pet, I let the scaly visitor return to its home and went on my way.

On the morning of the 4th of July, we packed up camp and headed for Detroit Lakes, where we spent the afternoon with a friend of ours (and one of my former coworkers) and their family at a lake home. (There were a buttload of cops out that day due to the area we were in, and also the date, and I managed to get followed by an unmarked cop for the better part of a few miles.) I made good use of the water trampoline, tubes, and lake in general, and despite not putting on sunscreen (an incredibly stupid move...can we say lobster), had a wonderful time. I even got to do some waterskiing (which I hadn't done in 2 years or so), and managed to get up on the 4th try. After some lunch and goodbyes, we headed up to Fargo, dropped off our stuff, and then headed over to the park for a picnic of fried chicken. Yum. Being in the park was an adventure in itself - owing to the beautiful weather, everyone else in Fargo appeared to be there also. We staked out a spot and chowed down, and even got some dinner entertainment - a family next to us was shooting fireworks right in front of three parked cop cars - not a smart move as it is illegal within the city limits.

The fireworks that night were great - they shoot them off in Moorhead at the college - so it's basically a field and stadium full of people watching together. Some really awesome fireworks too. We rounded out the night with slushies, and headed home to bed.

I spent the last two days running around Fargo/Moorhead - getting a haircut, visiting friends, having lunch dates, helping my friend out at work, and just enjoying myself. Friday night - my last night in town, was at an amazing jazz concert put on by some of the Fargo South High kids - it was wonderful. Then, Saturday was time to go home - but not before a stop in the Twin Cities to see a friend of mine, and a stop at home to share the fudge I'd bought at the Russel Stover Outlet in Owatonna. MMmmm.

So thus ends my crazy road trip - 7 days and 850 miles later. What a ride. I think I need an oil change now...once again I've reached the miles faster than the time... :) But what a great reason to have done it.

Now, off to the Boundary Waters... :D