Hop on the boat...

I had such an awesome day yesterday - rekindling an old friendship - I am constantly amazed and feel very blessed when I stumble across one of those relationships that might not be a best friend, but something clicks - you get each other - and you can be apart for months or even years, but you can get back together again and it's like you were never apart. We had coffee and talked for a long time about our lives and what's happened in the past year and a half, lots of stories, lots of change.

We went to see Evan Almighty also - definitely would recommend seeing that movie. It's very thought provoking - particularly one line when "God" is talking to Evan's wife Joan (Joan of Ark - hehe), and she is struggling with the fact that her husband seems to have lost all touch with reality - sitting in a restaurant with her kids after leaving to move in with her mother until things blow over. He asks her, "Let me ask you something: if someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience, or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for their family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?" Her face changes - and she starts to reconsider. She had prayed for her family to get closer, and failed to see what was happening right in front of her eyes.

We always want something to be handed to us, and forget to look at what is right there - we are being given answers by God all the time, but fail to see them because we are expecting to see one specific thing. God does not work within boundaries. God does not work within time constraints. God works in ways that force us to change our attitudes and preconceived ideas about the way our lives - and life in general - are supposed to run.

A few weeks back one of my pastors preached a sermon about dead men walking - It was a play off of one of the stories where Jesus ressurects a man. Jesus had gone to a town called Nain, and ressurrected a woman's son. (Luke 7:11-17) He went on to talk about the "dead men walking" right around us every day - kids with life the life sucked out of them, young adults that walk around like zombies because society has drained them of the joy they had - they are being forced to grow up too fast and to deal with things that children shouldn't have to deal with. This happens in the church as well - things happen, and we slowly start to lose the vibrance and life that we had because we sink into ruts and keep expecting hand outs when we aren't contributing anything of our own.

Jesus didn't act out of sympathy. He didn't speak teary eyed with cliches - but rather, he calls upon his authority as God's son. We can do the same. We must act with compassion. No one deserves God's love. NO ONE. But God looks upon us with compassion - and JUST GIVES LOVE. We are to do the same thing. We must shake ourselves from our stupors that life has put us in, and move. Live. Love.

SEE THE JOY!!

He Touched Me - Hymn

Shackled by a heavy burden, 'neath a load of guilt and shame,
Then the hand of Jesus touched me, and now I am no longer the same.

He touched me, oh He touched me.
And oh, the joy that fills my soul,
Something happened and now I know,
He touched me and made me whole.

Since I met this blessed Savior, since He cleansed and made me whole,
I will never cease to praise Him, I'll shout it while eternity rolls.

He touched me, oh He touched me.
And oh, the joy that fills my soul,
Something happened and now I know,
He touched me and made me whole.

Amen. SEE THE JOY!!

A Day in the Life...numero cuatro

I almost am not sure even what to put here for today - it's been amazing. I had so much fun at dinner tonight - an hour and a half long "conversation" with the counselors and Mitsu and Alli that had us all rolling - evil elmo, dancing monkeys with bright pants, and the peanutbutterjelly time banana doing the salsa in people's brains. Add that to conversations about special brownies, songs about photoshopping love, and other random episodes, I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. It was wonderful. This week has been such a great thing for me - and I am so glad I let myself enjoy the time I spent here...or at least got my mind off work enough to enjoy it.

Tonight was the mime that the staff puts on...and I found that the prevailing thought in my head was one that centered around wanting to feel the joy and fire that those who come to know Christ through adversity feel. We truly do have it easy, and I don't think I know what it really means to thirst for God the way they do. I want that feeling, I want that renewed passion and hope that I feel like I've lost some of. It was beautiful and thought provoking, a wonderful end to the week.

We spent part of the afternoon watching the weather and trying to see if it was going to storm on us - turns out all we really got was a lot of wind and a few drops of rain. I got up early enough this am to see the sunrise - it was gorgeous and I got a few beautiful pictures of it also. I ran into Mitsu on the way back and got to talk to him a bit, got my tye dye back, and headed up to staff devo time. That was also really cool...Pastor Alan talked about what it meant to be a water bearer for Christ - and that we may not get to see all of the changes that take place because of the miracles that are performed, but we do get the privilege of knowing that miracles are happening. The story of 4 funerals and a wedding, and the two weddings...Isaac's wife, and the wedding at Cana. We are truly blessed to be asked to carry out God's work, though it may be difficult at the time, the things we learn from taking part are unbelievable.

Tomorrow I go home, and I pray now and continually that I am able to take some of my excitement back. This truly was an amazing week that I got to share with incredible new friends...Camp is indeed a spirit filled place...Praise God for it.

A Day in the Life...numero tres

So, I am ready for bed and I learn that my parents and grandparents are both under severe thunderstorm warnings AND tornado warnings...ugh...I am really hoping it's all just a scare...I just got done saying this evening that I was bummed that I haven't seen a tornado before, but I always put the tag on it that I don't want it to be coming anywhere near me... the same is true of my family. Yikes.

This post is late, and while it is true that I technically missed a day, it was only by 5 minutes. I really had a lot going through my mind today - a lot about people. The arts and crafts/drummer guy here at camp has been on my mind...and what his life is like below the surface. He's known around camp as something of a crazy presence, which he is, but I have to wonder sometimes what and who he is when the craziness isn't around - and for that matter, if people take the time to realize that there is another side to him than what they see 90 percent of the time. His history is both fascinating and and interesting, and he's been at camp here doing his thing for at least 15 years. It's been so much fun to talk to him this week - he is remarkably passionate about what he does. When he plays his djembes and drums, you can tell that he is feeling the music when he plays, completley lost in it. He loves teaching arts and crafts, "hobnobing with the kiddos," etc. And just hearing his perspective on things at mealtime conversations and, I dunno, I really have a heart for him, and really hope others take the time to listen to him and to see below the surface. I'm going to miss seeing him when I leave this week...he's a great guy.

I got home Tuesday night to find that one of my camper's grandma had died. It was odd not being there for it...but when I got back Wenedady morning, she seemed alright - given the circumstances. She left not too long after lunch though, and should be back Wed. afternoon.

Yesterday was beautiful, I got a chance to hop in the lake for a bit, do some tye dyeing, and rock out to some worship songs. I also went to Bible study with my girls, which was cool and made me think (post about that to follow later) The camper talent show and camper led worship was that evening also, and despite an interesting choice of joke and some rowdy kids, it was pretty great. We left worship after being cooped up in chairs for two hours, and i was so wound up I could hardly sit still. We went down to the dock last night after dark and watched the lightning off in the distance for a while, then came back and had a conversation about the changing face of youth ministry - and what our kids really need - and how we give that to them.

I love camp.

A Day in the life...numero dos

Alright, so today begins with a recap of yesterday. I am growing to love meals more and more every day - it's a chance to be with some fellow ministry folk and hear stories, crazy, funny, interesting, and well, sometimes just plain wrong. What can you do.

I got a chance to take part in some water games with one of the cabins yesterday which was a blast, and a lot of fun to see the kids work together and have a good time at it. (and our team won - WOO!) The day was good, and after supper, we did something called prayer PARTS (praise, ask, repent, thank, share) which are all different words to represent the way we pray. The overall message was good, however, I think I was a little too preoccupied by a group of kids that thought they would just not pay attention and make fun of basically the whole process. I find sometimes that I have very little patience for the "popular" crew - at least the ones who make it their business to make it known that they are indeed better than those around them. I spent half the evening watching the little cliques move around together and hardly mingle at all with the others. Sad...alas...I'm not in charge...it's not my place.

I got to spend campfire with my girls - that was a blast. I've also gotten to spend a lot of time talking to one of the other sponsors that's here that is almost my same age - it's nice to be able to hang out together. I also really like getting chances to talk to the counselors - I'm back in my element here at camp. It's fun looking at them and remembering my days at camp as a counselor - even though it seems like it was an eternity ago - not just a couple years. Your life was contained in a backpack, worship leading was second nature, being goofy is just expected almost...yeah. What a great place. I drive myself nuts though watching procedure and dynamics and different ways things are done - I think I am doomed to forever criticize the way things are done at other camps. However, I do really like this one - I really think they've got some things figured out.

I've been thinking about how much fun it would be to do something either the tail end of this summer or the beginning of next summer with the kids and doing camp out nights - fires do amazing things to kids. It brings out something in them that you just can't produce any other way - I don't know what it is. But, how cool would it be to have a bunch of kids out, do a game, then sit them down around a fire and do a Bible Study and sing songs? So simple, and yet so powerful...

This morning I got the privilege of leading the staff in a devotion for the morning, and I chose to do one out of a book called Ordinary Joy, which I found at Synod Assembly last weekend and realized it was one that I had been meaning to get. The first story in the book sets the tone for the rest of it - a conversation between a photographer and a student:

"Look closer."

"I am looking closer," I said, frustration rising in my throat. "I've been staring at this bicycle now for two hours, and all I see is a bicycle."

"Then look closer," Rich urged.

I was taking photography lessons from my friend Rich, who, in another time and place, had been a photojournalist. the key to taking interesting pictures, Rich explained, was in learning not to just look at an object, but to see it with fresh eyes, to recognize what is present but unnoticed. Rich gave me an assignment: take thirty-six pictures of the same object. Each composition had to be different, not because of a change in surroundings, but because it reflected a different point of view. Since I was a cycling enthusiast, I chose my bike.

The assignment seemed easy at first: Here's my bike from the front. this is my bike from the back, from the side, here's a view from the top...now what? This was impossible. I squeezed off about ten frames, and I was stuck. There was nothing left to see, no pictures left to take.

"Look closer."

I threw up my arms to make sure Rich knew how unreasonable he was being, again leaned in toward the bike and wondered what he could see that I was missing. "It's easy for you," I grumbled. "You've trained your eyes to recognize beauty. All I see are a few metal tubes and a couple of wheels." That's when I noticed the graphic pattern the spokes made as they flared out from the wheel hub, intersecting each other in a pattern called 'lacing.' I grabbed my camera and moved in tight for a close-up. Glancing toward the handlebars, I realized how gracefully the brake cables curved and how interesting they were from this angle. Soon I could see how bits of dirt and grease clung to the chain, creating miniature mountain ranges.

Rich taught me a fundamental principle of photography that day: Look closer. If you want to see beauty, learn to view ordinary things in new ways.

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Life's joy reveals itself not only as we encounter a Savior who weaves himself into the fabric of routine living, but as we act on his invitation to rediscover the significance of serving him in ordinary ways. The most inconsequential detail of a servant life carries with it all the power of God's grace, for Jesus transforms the ordinary things we do into something more.

"Look closer," my friend reminded me. That's pretty good advice. Rather than seeing the ordinary as something to be avoided or a source of discontent, look closer. Peer deeper. Joy arrives when you discover God's fingerprints on the surface of each day.

-Excerpted from Ordinary Joy by Joe Campeau

Now, this afternoon I am home for a while, and back again tomorrow. See the beauty. Everywhere.

A day in the life of...numero uno

So, I'm off at camp. And I just decided that it would be a good idea for me to write a post every day that I'm here, since it seems that part of my coming to camp (at least in my own head) is a chance for me to be able to remove myself a bit and just have time to be, to think, to relax. I am getting there - I've still got one thing hanging over my head that is making it difficult to let go of work and of life at home, but with any luck, I'll be done with it (at least mostly done) by today, and then I can really let go.

I got to go out on a bike ride today for just a little while, and I managed to find a little beach in a state park and I walked along it in my bare feet for a while. The water was so clear - a far cry from the murky ones at home. I'm hoping that later on this afternoon if the sun comes out, maybe I can sneak away again and go for a swim.

This morning was really good, although I didn't get a chance to go for a run like I'd hoped I would. Sleep just sounded so much better... but I got up, had breakfast, and then spent the better part of an hour hanging around and talking with 4 of the other sponsors that are here at camp with their kids. We talked about books, our churches, people, all kinds of things. One of the guys that is here is originally from Australia, so it was interesting to hear some of his input on things. I am also always amused by hearing the conversations pastors have with one another - it cracks me up. Stories about church horrors, funny things that happen, crazy people, other crazy pastors - so funny to listen to. I guess that's what happens when you put a bunch of leaders in a room together - they compare. I suppose just about anyone does that though, myself included...

May the Lord bless us and keep us...no matter what...

What happens when someone tells you to dream what a staff would be like if you could start over from scratch - with a blank slate - from the beginning - ? Is that even possible? Where is scratch - where is the beginning? Who should get to be a part of that process? Can those whose roles fall within the parts being redesigned accurately see what needs to be different? Can we do it without those people?



Is it even possible to wipe a slate clean? After all, it would seem that pretty much everything makes a mark these days - and often the marks are lasting. Some will fade with time, but rarely is an occurrence ever completely forgotten. And, for that matter, beginning a new era - or ending an old one - leaves a mark all its own.

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If someone would have told me that the outcome of the above scenario would have happened the way it did, I dont know if I would have believed them. I still don't know if all of it has sunk in yet...I still sort of feel like it's a dream, that the part of my life this surrounds is just locked in a haze or something. And in all honesty, it probably is kinda hazy - did it really only happen a week ago? Is that even possible? It seems unreal that it's only been a week, that it's been a week, that it even happened at all, that so little has happened since IT happened...

I've been so busy since that I've hardly had time to even deal with it - I feel like I am almost as guilty as everyone else as shoving it onto the back burner...or completely off the stovetop. I talked to one of the bearers of bad news yesterday for the first time since the deed was done, and he asked me how I was doing, and I told him that I've been so busy that I haven't really had that much time to think about it, and he replied by saying, "well, maybe that's good." All I really wanted to do was look him in the eye and go, "yeah, that's exactly it. It has gone so 'seamlessly', namely because unless I am totally wrong, the 'seamlessness' is only by virtue of the fact that HALF THE PEOPLE DON'T EVEN FREAKING KNOW ABOUT IT YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still wonder if people really understand what it is they've done...